THE 20 DISSES


 * 1) Words can't describe your outfit, so I'll just throw up!

They can't measure your intelligence. The scale won't go that low.
 * 1) Appearances can be deceiving. Or in your case, disgusting.
 * 2) I promise not to make fun of your height. I would never stoop to that.
 * 3) I'm glad you're tall. It gives me more of you to dislike.
 * 4) I think you stepped on something smelly. Like your feet!
 * 5) I've seen tables with nicer looking legs than yours.
 * 6) Are you going to eat that apple, or gum it to death?
 * 7) Your mouth's the perfect size... for your foot.
 * 8) I've seen a nose like yours before, but it looked better on the baboon.
 * 9) Know what I like about your face? Me neither.
 * 10) Know what goes best with a face like yours? A paper bag.
 * 11) Why don't you do something different with your hair? Like, wash it.
 * 12) You're a person of rare intelligence. It's rare when you show any.
 * 13) You'll never use your mind. You can't lose what you never had.
 * 14) You've made this date I won't forget... no matter how hard I try.
 * 15) I know why they call this a "blind date." Because now that I've seen you, I wish I were blind.
 * 16) You're like disposable diapers...always getting dumped.
 * 17) What are you doing Friday night? Trying to forget you just asked me that.
 * 18) "What's he got that I haven't?" "You want it alphabetically?"